alwaysunqualified

  Chapter 31.2 – Sin (1)

  I stood at the center of the twenty-four, under their all-seeing gaze, my eyes closed. I awaited word on my promotion; our leader herself was reviewing it, but I was not concerned. Instead, I find myself reminiscing.

  I have been part of the church for as long as I can remember. Driven by greed, my mother led my father and her two sisters into the deeper yers of the dungeon, seeking an artifact rumored to have appeared there.

  She thought that because it was not a ruin, it would be safe—a foolish notion from a greedy woman. My father, unable to persuade her otherwise, chose to follow, intent on protecting her—a decision that marked him as a weak, cowardly man.

  I was too young to have any memories of them; my earliest memories are of the church. My life here was monotonous, though I was too young to see it at the time. Each day was the same routine: wake up, drink milk, pray, study, train, sleep, and repeat.

  This mediocrity was shattered for the first time by a peculiar boy. He was strange, from his thoughts to his appearance, brimming with questions everyone else found obvious and misconceptions so outndish they seemed beyond naive.

  I ter discovered that his body, mind, and soul matured at different rates, adding to his oddity.

  However, it wasn’t his peculiarities that disrupted my routine. It was a book he gave me as a thank you gift. This book contained faceless illustrations of men subjected to bondage, whipping, degradation, and various other acts, all perpetrated by indistinct figures of women.

  The gift had initially embarrassed me, yet something within compelled me to open that book night after night, despite my reservations. It was thrilling, but I felt as if something essential was missing, which troubled me deeply.

  Soon after, I was appointed as a torture assistant. Our church utilized pain to ground those overwhelmed by their Divine Blessings back to the mortal pne. How many camities have been sparked by deluded fools who believed they were equal to a Goddess? Or that they had earned enough divine favor to be immune from retribution for affronting another?

  However, I didn't dwell too much on these thoughts; after all, it was the Goddesses who shaped us. In my eyes, striving to be closer to our Goddesses was virtuous. Their true folly y in attempting to bite the hands that created us.

  My initiation into torture involved a woman capable of temporarily stealing others' Blessings. She had begun to entertain the notion of permanently seizing the very essence of a Blessing, thus ciming it indefinitely. In the grand scheme, this seemed a minor transgression—if one could not retain what the Goddesses bestowed, it was intended to be lost. Yet, our leader—our mother—disagreed, believing such notions should be swiftly and decisively quelled before they could flourish.

  As the season commenced, I observed the skilled movements of my senior sister. It was in these moments—amidst the screams of pain, the expressions of regret, and the faces of repentance—that I discovered what had been missing in my life. Watching the transformative suffering of the penitent, seeing their faces contort and sin cleanse through the ordeal, I found a profound sense of completion.

  At the time, I didn’t realize it, but during another encounter with the strange boy, I touched him, making it seem accidental since I was still unsure of myself.

  That touch was revealing; he was brimming with sin, almost overwhelmingly so. The expression he made as he screamed is etched in my memory forever and helped me come to terms with who I am. Truly, he was a gift that kept on giving.

  From then on, I looked forward to every assignment with eagerness, learning and growing more confident and skillful with each one. I mastered the art of purifying the sinful, making them acceptable in the eyes of our Goddesses. While each session brought satisfaction, none compared to the intensity of his presence. Even a mere touch from him was more potent than a full session with another; he was undeniably my favorite.

  I continued to hone my skills, hoping to be called upon when he was brought in, but that day never came. Driven by curiosity about his case and the church's ck of intervention, I began to investigate. It didn’t take long to uncover what I believed was the source of his deep-seated sin.

  He was an Apostle of the Goddess of Love, which put him at odds with the Goddess of Independence. Each Goddess despised her counterpart with an intensity beyond words, so any affiliation made him a target of hatred by association.

  However, my understanding shifted when I saw him in the tournament. It was right after a children's competition; something within him changed, and his sinfulness surged, allowing me a clearer view. I regretted not participating directly, for even from a distance, I could discern that his transgressions weren’t limited to one Goddess—rather, he was sinning against them all, and his sins were only escating.

  The realization nearly drove me to storm the stage so I could whisk him away for an intensive session, where I would tend to him meticulously.

  Fortunately, my guardian intervened. I almost prematurely cleansed his sins, which still had so much potential to expand. Yes, I can allow his sins to burgeon. Who knows how vast they might grow? I can indulge a taste, but I must ensure that no one else devours my sinful Liev—only I can do that. And what a session it will be.

  I am a greedy woman, like my mother before me, but I refuse to be as shortsighted as she was.

  "She will see you now, sister," a young nun informed me, snapping me out of my introspection. I slowly opened my eyes, surveying the statues encircling me, and offered one st prayer to our Goddesses before moving from the center.

  I did not engage the young nun; she did not merit my attention. I continued deeper into the heart of our sanctuary, the other nuns parting way as I passed, until I reached the innermost chamber where our mother, the leader of our sect, resided.

  She was a commanding presence, overseeing churches spread across multiple cities.

  I did not slow my pace as I approached the closed door, which swung open just before I could collide with it, leading me into her outer office. There, our mother sat, entirely nude to embody the primal state the Goddesses intended for us. Her long bck hair flowed freely, contrasting starkly with her pure white wings and the solitary ivory horn protruding from her head.

  Her office was situated outdoors, a stark contrast to the enclosed hallway I had just traversed. It was said that she maintained a simir setup in each of the churches under her supervision.

  Upon seeing her, I had to restrain myself from showing any sign of disgust—my Blessing revealed her as a woman marked by sin. A future session with her seemed inevitable once I acquired the necessary authority, but for now, I could only acknowledge the sin she embodied.

  "Mother," I greeted, stopping a few steps away from where she sat on the bare earth.

  "Sister Selen, I have reviewed your records. And hereby grant you the position of Sacred Warden," she announced, her eyes closed as she absorbed the tranquility of her surroundings. "You have excelled at every point, but that is not why I have approved your promotion. Do you understand why?"

  "Yes, mother, it is because I am acquainted with Liev Ekker, the Apostle of the Goddess of Love," I lied, although uncertain of his true nature, I knew that what I cimed was not the truth.

  "As astute as your records indicate. What you may not realize is that we've received reports of several simir individuals appearing in other parts of the world. And not just one, but multiples, each representing their Goddess," she said, both shocking and delighting me. I had to restrain myself from smiling at the prospect of more sinners. If they were even half of my Liev, then my future would certainly be busy.

  "Your role is to extend our sect to the surrounding smaller octaves. Show them that bance in all things is the only path forward," she advised.

  Bance in all things—never favoring one Goddess over another. I found the concept foolish. Each race naturally gravitates towards a particur Goddess by their very nature; to deny this is to reject the distinctions bestowed by the Goddesses themselves.

  "Liev has already formed a team for after his military service," she continued, letting me piece together the rest on my own. She pns to use my connection with Liev and his ties to the Goddesses to further propagate her version of our faith. Likely, she has simir schemes for the others she has identified.

  This time, I couldn't help but smile at her. 'What a truly sinful woman,' I thought.

  I couldn't wait for her session to arrive.