12-Acknowledgements
-Chapter Start: August 8th, 4:12pm
“V-Valia?” I stammered, my voice shaded with embarrassment and flustered unease. I must have looked insane, standing in the middle of the room, arguing aloud with my own demon. Valia, clearly concerned, quickly set down the items she was carrying and approached me. Her footsteps were cautious, her expression a mix of worry and hesitation. She stopped a few steps away, lingering as though caught between the urge to act and the uncertainty of how to do so.
“Did… you hear all of that?” I asked, my voice quieter now, the tension in my chest coiling tighter.
“Well… I felt the contract, so I double-timed it ho… Uh, here.” Valia began, stumbling slightly over her words. She rubbed the back of her neck, her ears twitching in a way that portrayed her nervousness. “And, yeah, I heard you talking to someone. I just sorta waited. I didn’t know if you… well…” She trailed off, chewing her lip as if trying to piece together her next thought. “I thought maybe you were talking to another human, so I didn’t want to scare them off, right? But then you started getting loud and…”
“No, no you’re… Thanks, Valia.” I said, cutting her off with a faint, awkward smile as I exhaled heavily. My body sagged, the adrenaline of the moment fading into a crushing wave of anxiety. I crouched down and, without much thought, let myself collapse onto my back in the middle of the floor. The cool touch of the hardwood pressed against my back, grounding me in its simplicity.
Valia tilted her head, her brow furrowing in confusion as she took a tentative step closer. “Uh… are you okay?”
I ran my hands over my face, fingers dragging across my temples, trying to smooth out the chaos in my mind. Thoughts clashed and tangled, making it impossible to focus. Valia stood there, shifting slightly on her feet, her clawed paws faintly scuffing the floor.
“Just… Decompressing.” I said quietly. After a long pause, she broke the silence.
“Let me, uh, get the rest of the stuff inside.” She said softly. Her gaze lingered on me a moment longer, before she turned back toward the doorway. The faint sound of rustling plastic and soft thuds filled the room as she hauled the rest of the bags inside.
I let out a few quiet, uneven sighs, my chest rising and falling in deliberate attempts to decompress. Finally, I pushed myself upright and shuffled to the couch.
A series of metallic thunks echoed from the doorway as Valia slid the metal bar locks into place, securing the door behind her. She turned toward me, carrying a bundle of bags, her movements brisk but not rushed. My attention wavered, unable to settle on any one detail: The groceries, the sound of her paws on the floor, the faint smell of apples… Until Valia came closer.
She plopped down on the couch beside me, and casually tossed an apple into the air. With a fluid motion, she caught it in her mouth, her sharp teeth sinking into the fruit with an audible crunch. The sound was violent, yet the scene itself was absurdly amusing to me... If Zylas, or any other number of beings did that, I would have hastily retreated far away from the scene with the worry I might be next. But… Valia was different… A smile tugged at my lips despite everything.
“What?” Valia asked, raising an eyebrow as she chewed slowly. She swallowed, the corners of her mouth quirking up mischievously. “I love apples.”
“I’ll have to remember that.” I replied with a small chuckle, the tempest of thoughts in my mind softening to a dull murmur. Leaning back into the couch, I let out a low grumble, adjusting the blankets behind me to create a makeshift headrest. The fabric was warm and slightly rough, but it felt grounding after the whirlwind of emotions. “When did you… start listening?”
“About the time you and… Your friend said you started trusting each other after a few months…” Valia admitted, her voice touched with a mix of curiosity and hesitation. She bit into another apple, the slow crunch unusually ominous in its deliberate pacing.
“Soooo… Everything.” I muttered, my words trailing off as she took over once again. My lips betrayed me, laced with the familiar devilish charm that accompanied her interjections. Valia froze mid-chew, her head snapping toward me as if to confirm I hadn’t transformed into something monstrous.
“Your worry is cute, little one.” She cooed, the words dripping with mirth as they spilled unbidden from my mouth. “But I think Daegon was ab…”
“That is more than enough… Please.” I cut in sharply, wresting back control before the situation escalated further.
“She… Really likes doing that, doesn’t she.” Valia asked, slowly swallowing as her gaze remained fixed on me.
“It’s a past-time.” She quipped, her voice resonating within me like a dark echo, shaded with sinister amusement. I could almost feel her smirk curling in the back of my mind.
“Do… Are you busy?” I asked hesitantly, my voice faltering as I tried to shift the conversation to safer ground. Valia glanced down at the half-eaten apple in her hand, then at the bag beside her.
“Well, I got about a dozen apples left if that’s what you’re asking.” Valia replied with a small smile, her ears flicking playfully as she leaned back against the couch. The faint scent of the apples mingled with the lingering aroma of incense from earlier, creating a strange, almost comforting juxtaposition.
I took a deep breath and began recounting everything I’d told Jaskrim, along with the details of the delivery. Valia listened quietly, her sharp, attentive eyes rarely leaving me. She continued to munch on her apples, each deliberate bite punctuating the silence as I worked through the events. When I got to Utagawa, her chewing slowed, and her ears perked, betraying an intensified focus.
By the time I finished, the weight of the conversation hung thick in the air. Valia shifted slightly in her seat, her expression distant as though she was digesting more than just her snack.
“So… When talking to Jaskrim, I realized how stupid I’ve been really.” I admitted, my attempt at a light chuckle coming off strained. “I’m sorry I haven’t been…”
“Give me a second, this is a lot to take in.” Valia interrupted with a sigh. She leaned back, her gaze drifting toward the ceiling. Her fingers absentmindedly twirled the apple core, and for a moment, her features softened in contemplation. Her eyes wandered, taking in the small details of the room, before settling back on me.
“So… you had a lot of complications on the job. Utagawa gave more than a helping hand…” Her voice wavered slightly, a trace of envy slipping through before she caught herself. “You finally opened up to Jaskrim. And Seren… You watched your friends and her perish. Fucking hell… I get why you’re such a mess now.”
“Yeah… But, I really shouldn’t have been so… Me, about you.” I blurted out, pushing past the anxiety beginning to cloud my mind. “I-I mean, I realize now you have feelings for... Me. And, I… I want to say I acknowledge that. But I’m not in the right place to really be what you want me to be.”
The words lingered, heavy and raw. My gaze dropped to the floor, the worn wood offering no reprieve from the weight of the moment. Valia stayed quiet, her own thoughts churning as she leaned ever so slightly toward me.
“Well, it’s better than what I thought you were gonna say.” she hummed lightly. The warmth of her hair brushed against my arm as she nuzzled gently into me, her presence offering an unexpected comfort. “So… not to take away from your opening up and trauma dump… but…”
“Y-y… Yeah, I do… I just, there’s a lot I still need to sort through, and I’m not sure how.” My words tumbled out before Valia could finish her sentence, the nervous edge in my tone betraying how unprepared I was for this conversation.
She hummed softly, a sound of quiet delight, before reaching into the bag beside her.
“Well, I’m happy you finally acknowledge I’m cute and fluffy.” She teased, her tone light as she leaned more into me briefly. After a quick nuzzle, she sat back upright, her expression shifting to something more serious. “As for your… Touchy issues… As much as I hate to admit I’m not good enough, Ainai is your best bet. She’s got a way with emotions… Untangling them, making sense of them... It’s… Really hard to describe... But hey, you’ve already opened up to her before, right?”
“Th-that’s true.” I nodded, my gaze dropping to the apple in her hand as my thoughts drifted. It had been a while since Ainai and I talked. Back then, we’d gotten along well—maybe too well. A part of me still wondered how much of that connection was genuine and how much was her looking for a hunter. Lost in thought, I barely noticed when Valia jabbed me lightly in the side.
“Hey, that doesn’t mean you get to drift off into your own little world.” she chided, her serious tone undercut by the teasing smile tugging at her lips.
I sighed, a small smile of my own breaking through as her words pulled me back to the present. The weight of uncertainty began to ease, like clouds parting after a storm.
“I… Should I maybe see her today?” I asked tentatively as Valia stood and stretched, her movements fluid and relaxed.
Her shirt lifted slightly with the motion, revealing a thin stripe of her white fur dancing along her midriff that shimmered faintly in the light. I glanced away quickly, hoping my momentary lapse went unnoticed. But Valia’s ears flicked ever so slightly as she turned, her tail swishing lazily as if to say, Caught you.
“She’s usually home today.” She replied, her voice casual but carrying a faint note of amusement. While I was still regaining most of my composure, she tossed her half-eaten apple towards me. I caught it clumsily, the cool, smooth surface pressing against my palm.
“Oh, and eat.” she added, her tone growing playful as she leaned slightly against the wall. “I can hear your stomach growling from here.”
“S-sorry.” I muttered, taking an awkward bite. My attempt at a Valia-sized chomp failed spectacularly, earning a giggle from her as I chewed in smaller, more manageable bites.
“Hey, one thing though.” Her voice turned softer as she walked toward the door, her hands already beginning the process of opening a portal to The Den.
“What’s up?” I asked, standing and stretching. The conversation had lightened something heavy inside me, but I could still feel the weight of unspoken thoughts lingering between us.
“Don’t take too long to come around, alright?” she said, glancing back at me as the portal cracked open. Her gaze lingered for a moment, and I could swear her eyes swept over me the same way mine had drifted to her earlier.
My chest tightened slightly under the weight of the thought, but before I could confirm if she’d actually done it—or if I was imagining things—a soothing presence rolled through the portal. It carried the faint, sweet scent of wildflowers, the kind that felt out of place in the world of tension I’d been living in.
“Oh, Bwe, it’s Valia. Daegon has business with Ainai.” She called, her voice softening as she addressed the figure beyond. Her tail gave a faint swish, a motion that somehow felt both casual and deliberate, like a punctuation mark to her unspoken awareness of my earlier glance.
The door widened, revealing the familiar, graceful figure of the deer-woman. Her amber eyes quickly scanned the room before landing on me. She nodded once in acknowledgment, before turning and disappearing into the shadows of The Den.
“Thanks again, Valia… I…” I started to say as I stepped toward the doorway, but my words faltered when she abruptly wrapped her arms around me in a sideways hug. Her face nestled into the crook of my neck, her fur a soft, velvety texture that warmed me instantly.
I tensed for a moment before relaxing, returning the embrace. It wasn’t something I realized I needed, but it was undeniable now.
“I know you can’t be what I want right now.” Valia murmured, her voice muffled against me. “But you let me be… well, me, unconditionally. No matter how much I pushed or prodded. Even if it started as just a fun thing, I could tell you were uneasy around me… Your heart always gave you away. And yet…” She trailed off, her voice dropping to a whisper. “I sorta fell for you.”
She released me, her gaze meeting mine. There was a quiet intensity in her eyes, a vulnerability I neglected to take notice of in the past. If she could blush, I was certain she’d be flushed now.
“I… I’ll try to give you a proper response soon…” I said, stumbling over the words as a faint blush crept into my own cheeks.
“I know.” She smiled faintly, nudging me gently through the doorway. Her hands lingered for a moment before she let go, her voice soft but resolute as the door began to close. “Just… understand I’m waiting.”
With the door closing, I was promptly, albeit sheepishly, greeted by the deer-woman. She opened her mouth to speak but closed it just as quickly. The tension in the air thickened, as though something unseen was lurking just beyond our exchange. Before either of us could settle into this awkwardness, the faint yet distinct echo of heavy, clawed footsteps filled the hallway.
“Hey, Eter-twat, I know you’re here!” Zylas’ voice rang out, sharp and unapologetic. Her tone carried the edge of impatience, each syllable practically a growl.
The deer-woman stiffened instantly, her posture snapping upright like a startled doe caught in headlights. Zylas rounded the corner, her predatory presence dominating the space, but stopped abruptly as her piercing eyes landed on the deer-woman.
“You sure as shit took your sweet time coming baaa—” Zylas’ words trailed off, her tone faltering slightly as her eyes made contact with the deer-woman’s. Before anything else could be spoken, the deer-woman gave a frantic wave and a tight nod before scurrying into an adjacent hallway.
“I still have no idea what the hell I did to scare her that badly…” Zylas mumbled, scratching her head. Her voice had softened just enough to betray a faint, begrudging confusion, though it was clear she didn’t care enough to investigate further.
Then her eyes snapped back to me, sharp and unrelenting.
“Anyway,” she growled, stalking closer. “You’re staying here until I get back. Otherwise, I’m gonna rip your leg off.”
Her words struck with the casual brutality that only Zylas could deliver. I swallowed hard, my body stiffening under her intense glare.
“I… I mean, if you…” I stammered.
Zylas stepped closer, leaning in slightly. Her piercing golden eyes bore into mine, the fur around her muzzle bristling as if she was daring me to challenge her.
She raised a single clawed finger, cutting me off before I could finish. “I’ll only be gone, about an hour.”
She took a slow, deliberate breath, the sound of her expanding ribcage audible, keeping her gaze locked much longer than necessary. There was agitation behind her eyes, but for what reason I couldn’t tell. With a final exhale, she turned around and promptly walked back into the hallway she came from.
Her footsteps receded, fading into the ambient hum of the hallway. I stood there dumbfounded, glancing down at myself as if expecting to find something gone, like my wallet or kidneys. My skin prickled under the phantom weight of her earlier glare, but I found nothing out of place.
“Did she… do something?” I muttered to myself, shaking off the lingering tension.
Not long ago, I had been in Ainai’s room. But in that short time, the changes were staggering. The old, faded carpet had been cleaned up a bit, and decent looking rugs were added on top, assumedly covering spots that didn’t fare well. Actual lighting now graced the space, casting a soft glow over newly placed furniture.
Despite the improvements, the room’s size still felt immense, as if it could swallow you whole. Two dividers had been added to define smaller corners of the space. One corner housed Ainai’s old pillow pile, now neatly arranged and more intentional than before.
The shrine, however, remained the focal point. Raised higher than my last visit, it commanded attention with its intricate design with the fox statue placed atop. Two incense holders framed its base, their curling tendrils of smoke filling the air with a familiar fragrance. A low, narrow table rested in front of the shrine, surrounded by cushions arranged for kneeling.
As we sat before the shrine, the scent of the incense clicked in my mind.
“That’s the same Valia uses…” I muttered, feeling foolish for only now realizing the connection.
“She fell in love the first time she walked by my room.” Ainai replied, a faint happiness lacing her words. A small smile graced her lips as she reminisced, her gaze softening as it lingered on the shrine.
After a moment, she shifted slightly to face me, her tone taking on a more serious edge. “Are you sure you want me to do this?” She paused, her words deliberate. “Depending on how far we go… I could very realistically dredge up old memories. Very real. Very painful ones.”
“It’s… If it happens, it happens.” I spoke with hesitated resolve, glancing back down at my hands. Not even realizing the words weren’t mine. Ainai reached out with both hands, and it took me a few moments to reach out my left one in kind.
The moment our hands connected, a wave of serenity washed over me. Calm and… something ineffable, otherworldly, began weaving itself into my thoughts. My mind—an impossible, chaotic Rubik’s Cube—felt as if its pieces were slowly shifting into place, guided by Ainai’s presence.
Her eyes began to glow faintly, the red flecks within them swirling like the gentle snowflakes in a shaken snow globe. Despite her usual calm demeanor, there was a trace of curiosity now, paired with a guarded weariness.
“It’s… Not every day someone is willing to share their mind with another.” she said softly. Her voice held a reverence, as though treading sacred ground. “Even among those seeking help. I’ll try to be as gentle as I can, but if we stir up memories, it’ll be up to you when to stop.”
Her gaze shifted back to the shrine as her form began to change. It wasn’t the violent display of dominance I had seen in Zylas; Ainai’s transformation was mesmerizing, like watching an artist’s brushstroke bring life to a canvas. Her features sharpened subtly, her Kitsune heritage taking center stage. Her aura—already serene—intensified, threading into the very air around us. The emotions and sensations shared between us multiplied, yet they retained their delicate balance, a weightless yet profound connection.
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Her voice was calm, but warmed with new depth, broke the silence. “We are… linked, as long as you wish it now. You may hold my hands if it helps, but it is no longer a requirement.”
“C-can I ask a lingering question first? It’s… Something that’s been bothering me for a while.” My voice wavered, barely cutting through the intangible space of our shared connection. A small gust of air, more a sensation than a sound, rippled through the link forged between us. My thoughts, scattered and tangled, danced along the edges of our minds. Ainai, with her practiced calm, didn’t pry into the jumble threatening to spill over.
Instead, she turned her attention fully to me, her gaze steady but inviting, giving me a slight, noticeable nod.
“Why… did you match with me on that meetup site?” I asked, my words stumbling out more awkwardly than I had intended.
A soft, warm flush crossed her face as she turned a delicate shade of red. Gently, she loosened one of her hands from mine and shifted slightly in place, her tails curling behind her in a pattern that seemed almost bashful.
“Oh, as much as I would love to feign ignorance at such an innocent and endearing question…” she teased, her voice laced with amusement. “I think what you’re really asking is: Why did we end up alone in an uninhabited part of the Bastion, and why did Zylas show up… right?”
As she spoke, faint memories of that day began to form in our shared mindscape, not just images but the emotions woven into them. Happiness. Bashfulness. A glimmer of joy. Each feeling bled through as clearly as the colors in a painting, creating a surreal tapestry of the moment. The sensations, so vivid and raw, pulled me in. All I could do was give a small nod, anxiety building as the scenes unraveled.
The day replayed quickly in Ainai’s mind, dragging me along for the ride. Her perspective was a whirlwind of sensory overload. Graffiti-covered walls seemed to pulse with faint auras of abandonment and defiance. Even discarded drinks littering the ground bore faint traces of lingering emotions—apathy, frustration, fleeting joy. The world through Ainai’s eyes was alive in ways I couldn’t fully comprehend but felt deeply all the same.
Then her gaze, in that memory, landed on me. I froze, overwhelmed by the layered sensations that accompanied it.
“Your aura is suppressed, but your emotions leak through.” Ainai said, her words both spoken and etched into the link between us. “You fluctuate between being completely empty and brimming over. Both, perfectly blending in and disappearing.” Her tone was calm but deliberate, her mental voice guiding me as I struggled to process the unfamiliar void surrounding my memory-self.
“I thought…” I began, my voice faltering as I wrestled with what I was seeing. Without realizing it, I shifted the memory back and forth, rewinding and playing it again, watching the odd absence around me swirl and dissipate like smoke in the wind.
“You call them auras, don’t you?” Ainai’s voice carried a gentle patience. “Like what you see with her eyes.” She paused, her words almost a smile in my mind. “Now imagine assigning feelings and intentions to specific ones. All unique to each person. That’s how I see the world naturally.”
Her explanation, paired with the sensory flood from her perspective, gave me a tenuous grasp of how she viewed others. As the scene progressed, the weight of her attention on me became more pronounced. Then came the pivotal moment.
The memory reached the seconds before Zylas arrived. Ainai turned, her gaze hard and intense, narrowing sharply as she pushed against the intangible void around me. Her presence was a relentless pressure, testing the boundaries I hadn’t even realized I had erected.
And then it happened. A small wisp of silver flowed from me like a thread unravelling. As it did, Ainai’s tension melted away instantly, but what lingered was almost apologetic. Though, I was unable to discern why this wisp was so… Important.
“That… was truth. Pure, unguarded truth.” Ainai said softly, her words lingering in the shared space between us. She paused, her brow furrowing slightly as she searched for the right phrasing. The emotions she struggled to articulate rippled through our connection—earnestness, warmth, and a touch of vulnerability. “That was the first time, during our entire meeting, that you had an unmasked…” Her voice trailed off as her gaze flickered downward, the feelings speaking louder than her words.
“People naturally leave a bit of themselves wherever they go, without ever realizing it.” I said, the thought spilling out as I rewound the memory. We were walking down the road again, Ainai’s perspective vivid and alive. Her eyes darted to objects ahead—benches, abandoned cans, crumpled newspapers—all radiating faint echoes of emotions. The air around her shimmered with a haze of attentiveness that stretched far beyond her immediate surroundings.
Even as she walked ahead of me, her awareness never faltered. She noticed every sound I made, every subtle shift in my posture, every time my eyes wandered upward to the stars. Yet, her focus drifted between the auras that surrounded us. The bench exuded happiness tinged with melancholy. The derelict building to our left was heavy with despair and hollow emptiness. Every place, every object, told its own story.
I dropped the memory abruptly, a pang of discomfort rushing through our connection. Ainai’s features tensed, her unease radiating faintly. “There are many who fear me, who fear our kind.” she said after a moment, her voice quieter now. “But the scariest are those who…”
Her memory rewound sharply, like a film reel spinning in reverse, until it froze on the moment she first saw me. I stood at a distance, unaware of her gaze, shrouded in a void so profound it seemed to consume the very edges of her perception. To her, I was less a person and more an anomaly—a shadow where substance should have been.
The only way my mind could interpret it was as though I were staring into a pitch-black room, searching for details that refused to exist. The unsettling realization crept in: I wasn’t just in the dark room—I was the dark room.
A sigh escaped me as I watched myself in the memory pull out my phone, its faint glow radiating more presence than I did. The contrast was almost mocking. Ainai’s approach played out before me, her emotions a complex tangle of curiosity and trepidation. Despite her outward calm, I could feel the tension rippling through her—a careful calculation behind every step.
As her presence registered in the memory, my aura shifted. Like a chameleon adapting to its surroundings, it melted seamlessly into the background, becoming almost undetectable.
In the shared connection, frustration and confusion welled up within me. How? The thought repeated itself like a mantra as I struggled to comprehend this inexplicable ability to vanish into the fabric of the world. It wasn’t just an act of suppression… It was as if I had rewritten the rules of perception themselves.
“Can just… do that.” I murmured aloud, finishing her earlier thought. My voice was heavy with understanding.
Ainai nodded slightly, her focus lingering on the memory. A cold breeze swept through the room, tangible and grounding, like a quiet apology from the summer air.
“If we make it that far…” I continued, “You’ll get an answer to that.”
“I will?” Ainai asked, her curiosity laced with a subtle undercurrent of unease. Her gaze dropped momentarily before meeting mine again. “I sent Carna away because I thought… if my suspicions about you were real…” Her voice trailed off, but her emotions carried the weight of her words.
‘You would have attempted to slay us in that back alley. Quick, clean, and burn the remains.’
Queen’s voice cut through the connection like a blade, sharp and unyielding. Ainai faltered, her focus fracturing briefly.
“I…” she began, her tone catching on Queen’s intrusion. I scrambled to project warmth, an awkward attempt to mimic Ainai’s own calming influence. Her face shifted—a symphony of perplexity and faint amusement—before she composed herself. The hints of a smile lingered on her lips.
“I’m glad I was wrong.” she said at last. “And that it didn’t end that way.”
Rainclouds of discomfort loomed over the conversation, but I pushed through. “I… you weren’t wrong though.” I admitted, my voice dipping lower. “I was raised by them. But Queen…” I hesitated, her name sticking in my throat. “She showed me their true intentions for my life. I haven’t been a part of anything like that since.”
“That’s… not even the start of it, is it?” Ainai asked, her hand slipping from mine to rest lightly on my back. Her touch was firm but soothing, her empathy evident even through the connection.
I laughed weakly, my gaze falling to the ground. “If we’re diving into my—ow!” My words were cut off as a surge of purple energy shot through my neck, jolting me upright before easing into a strange remedy.
‘Firstly, they’re my memories, as Daegon sold his off.’ Queen’s voice echoed, reverberating across the mental plane with undeniable authority. ’Secondly, Kitsune, you already know of my presence. If you wish to proceed, you will vow to keep this information secret. The moment it ceases to remain so… it will be my sole duty, regardless of Daegon’s intentions, to lay you to rest.’
The weight of her words was matched only by the manifestation of a dark, cloaked chain wreathed in green flames that appeared between us. Ainai’s attention locked onto it immediately, her expression unreadable as she reached for it. Without hesitation, her hand closed around the chain, and it sank into her palm.
The chain’s remnants left a faint impression across her skin, almost imperceptible but unmistakably present. Her resolve surged, a steadfastness I had never seen in her before.
“You’re putting your absolute trust in me, regardless of your bond with Queen.” Ainai said, her voice steady and resolute. “I will not betray that trust, no matter who she may turn out to be.”
An uneasy silence draped the room, mirrored within our conjoined mindscapes. Subtle vibrations stirred beneath the surface, building into slow, deliberate quakes that heralded her arrival. From the consuming void emerged Queen, her form concealed within cascading waves of shadow. Each deliberate step sent ripples through the mindscape, her presence commanding. Shrouded in darkness, the only discernible features were her vorpal eyes—piercing violet flames that cut through the void—and the faint glimmer of ethereal chains that coiled across her figure like whispered secrets.
‘Be it my memories, it’s only fitting I enjoy the show.’ Queen declared; her voice steeped in authority. The weight of her words pressed into my chest, stirring an uneasy churn of emotions. ‘Yet, it seems my presence alone will be… problematic.’
“Would you be willing to…” Ainai began, her voice measured but hesitant, the calm authority of her Kitsune heritage slipping through.
A soft, mocking hum escaped Queen, curling through the shared space like smoke. ‘Oh, what a marvelous idea. Permit me the luxury of slumber while you sift through the remnants of the past? Very well. I shall allow it—but only until you teeter on the precipice of failure. The trivialities are yours to endure.’
Queen’s amusement lingered as strands of darkness drifted from her form, bleeding into Ainai’s mindscape. Ainai stiffened momentarily, concern flashing across her eyes. Yet she remained resolute, the subtle spark of red within her gaze intensifying as she turned her attention back to me. Her small, reassuring smile was meant to ease the weight pressing against my thoughts, but the creeping anxiety of what was to come persisted.
Where to begin? When to begin? Could I even explain the Contract? Should I? The questions spiralled, threatening to overwhelm me until Ainai’s voice cut through the chaos.
“Daegon…” she said gently, her presence threading through my mind like a soothing melody. Her emotions softened the cacophony in my thoughts to a dull roar. “What would be easiest for you to start with?”
There was no easy place to start. My mind sifted through endless fragments, but one name rose from the depths like a weight dragging me under.
“Seren…” The name fell from my lips like a whisper, burdened with unspeakable heaviness.
Ainai’s hand moved with quiet purpose, resting lightly against the back of my neck. A slow, pulsing warmth radiated outward, spreading across my body. It wasn’t a balm to calm or numb the pain; it was something far more potent. Determination. Focus. Resolve. The sensation was not hers—it was a gift, an invitation to share the strength I lacked.
“Seren was… to the best of my memory, my only significant other.” I began, my voice uneven as I glanced down at my arm. Slowly, I pushed my sleeve to my elbow, exposing the pink tree tattoo etched into my skin. A shared mark between myself, and Valia.
Ainai’s gaze followed the motion, her eyes reflecting a quiet understanding. Within the mindscape, vibrant colors unfurled, a cascade of cherry blossoms blooming against the dark backdrop of Queen’s slumbering presence. The petals danced on unseen currents, drifting gently between our intertwined realms.
“That’s why it felt so familiar…” Ainai murmured, her voice imbued with a deep sincerity. “A contract tied to cherry blossoms… delicate and fleeting, but profoundly beautiful.” Her hand moved instinctively, as she guided my hand to rest against the tattoo. As soon as I touched it, a wave of warmth surged forth nearly immediately, noting Valia’s response.
A soft laugh bubbled up that happily bounced between us, echoing faintly in Ainai’s voice. Despite the unease lingering in the air, a small smile broke across my face, fleeting but genuine.
“So… tell me of Seren.” Ainai’s voice carried through the shared space, gentle yet insistent. Her curiosity and compassion wove through the bond we shared, drawing forgotten memories to the surface.
The air was damp, thick with the scent of rain-soaked earth and pine. Nearby, the dying cackle of a fire sputtered in defiance against the light drizzle that dampened its parade. The rhythmic dance of raindrops tapped across the canvas of the tent we were in, a gentle cadence that mingled with the crackle of wet wood.
Warmth cocooned me… Her warmth. It wrapped around me like a sanctuary against the chill outside, her presence as tangible as the heavy air pressing against my skin.
Smells and sensations began to bleed through, vivid and undeniable. The fire’s piney smoke carried hints of sage and rosemary, wafting in lazy swirls with every pop and hiss of the embers. A second, more intimate layer followed—a subtly salty, earthy scent that clung to her, faintly intoxicating, grounding me in her presence.
Soft skin brushed against mine, her smooth touch interrupted only by the faint scratch of fresh marks trailing along my arms. Her fingers shifted slightly, their touch gentle, almost hesitant, sending a ripple of awareness through me.
“This was… the night after Seren and I…” I began, the words catching in my throat. Flushed with thoughts I hadn’t dared revisit, I felt the memory's emotions surge forth. Happiness, euphoria, peace, and tranquility spilled over, coating the scene like a sweet, heady nectar that was almost overwhelming in its intensity.
“Hey, handsome. You awake?”
Her voice, soft and playful, teased the edge of my ear, sending a subtle shiver down my spine. The darkness surrounding the memory softened, shifting into vibrant hues as the scene seemed to breathe to life.
Her face… It came back to me with such vivid clarity. Every detail was as sharp and unrelenting as the emotions tied to them. Her extraordinary green eyes, once so vibrant, now carried the weight of long, tiring days. The scar running beneath her eye, curving gently along the side of her nose, felt like a story carved into her skin. Freckles, thriving like constellations across her sun-kissed complexion, whispered of a life once full of light. Her long, golden hair draped over me, cascading in soft waves that tickled my skin with every subtle movement.
“She’s gorgeous… I wish I could see her—” Ainai began, her words trailing off as something shifted.
A rush of new sensations enveloped us, pulling me deeper into the memory.
“Her memories…” I whispered, the words spilling out as if they weren’t my own. Slowly, a serene cyan glow began to weave through the space, coiling around us like ethereal ribbons. It pulsed faintly, almost like a heartbeat, each wave carrying an intangible yearning. The light tangled around me, clinging desperately, as though searching for something—anything—to anchor itself to.
I turned to Ainai, my own astonishment reflected in her face. Her calm demeanor faltered ever so slightly, her eyes narrowing as she examined the flowing cyan aura.
“I see…” Ainai finally spoke, her voice steady, held an edge of uncertainty. The soft red flecks in her eyes danced erratically, betraying her neutral tone. Something about this moment—this glow—bothered her. Yet, whatever it was, she didn’t seem ready to address it.
The cyan continued to wrap around us, its presence growing stronger, almost suffocating in its intensity. I couldn’t tell if it sought to protect, consume, or simply remind me of something lost.
“She was… The first happy thing I had since being free.” I murmured, my voice trembling as the cyan aura around the scene began to fade, dissipating like mist caught in the morning sun.
Ainai’s gaze softened, and she moved closer, her presence as steadying as the earth beneath me. The warmth of her proximity brought an inexplicable comfort, as if her very existence had been tailored to offer solace. Her kind smile radiated something deeper than words—an unspoken promise that I wouldn’t have to face this alone. It felt like an anchor, something I could grow to depend on, though the thought scared me more than I was ready to admit.
“Did you wish… To reminisce more?” Ainai asked quietly. Her voice still a balm, steadying the turbulent emotions that churned within me. The memory around us continued to play, fragments of fleeting joy and delicate touches suffusing the air.
Enamouring sensations rushed forward… Seren’s laughter, the warmth of her touch, the intoxicating scent of pine and rain-soaked earth, but they were punctuated by the sharp sting of inevitability. A single tear traced its way down my face, warm and unrelenting, as the foreknowledge of what was to come crushed me.
“I… I just don’t understand how something like this…” I began, my voice faltering as the memory flickered. Shadows from the recesses of my mind clawed their way forward, and with them came a darker memory. Its edges seethed with an oppressive weight, lingering like a predator waiting to strike. I didn’t dare peek into that abyss. “…turns into that.”
It had been… Months? Years? Since any of these memories existed for me. Ainai had prepared herself for this inevitability. She didn’t speak but subtly adjusted her posture, her shoulder supporting me as I slumped slightly under the emotional toll. The warmth of her presence remained steadfast, her aura a quiet strength against the oncoming storm.
Ainai remained quiet for a moment, letting the silence stretch between us. It wasn’t the awkward kind. It felt deliberate, giving me the space to breathe, to prepare. Her hand rested lightly on my knee, the touch grounding, steady.
I hesitated, my throat tightening as if the weight of the memory was physically crushing me. “I… How am I supposed to trust these memories when they’re so cruel, so wrong from what I remember?” My voice wavered, barely audible as my chest heaved under the strain of rising anxiety. The mindscape around us blurred and twisted, as though reflecting my inner turmoil.
Ainai’s hand pressed more firmly against my shoulder, anchoring me. “It’s okay to feel afraid.” she said, her voice cutting through the haze like a steady beacon. “Fear means you cared. It means you lived. It means you survived—and it means you can grow stronger because of it.”
I clenched my fists, my nails digging into my palms as I stared at the memory looming before us. The tendrils of shadow writhed with a malevolent energy, curling in mockery, beckoning me to step forward and face their truth. My heart pounded violently, each beat resonating like a drum in my ears. “I… I trust you, Ainai. But I don’t know if I can trust…” I trailed off, my eyes locking onto the abyssal memory ahead. My voice dropped, trembling. “How do I even begin to get over that?”
“Trust me to guide you through it.” Ainai’s words were resolute, her tone imbued with unwavering conviction. She shifted closer, her presence like a warm flame against the encroaching cold. “We’ll face it together, understand it together, and acknowledge whatever it is. Okay?”
I turned to look at her, and for a moment, the flickering light of her molten-red eyes held my focus. The fiery flecks burned brighter than ever, radiating a determination that eclipsed even the monumental deal she had struck with Queen. The weight of her belief steadied me, if only slightly.
“I… Okay.” I said, forcing the words out past the lump in my throat. My breathing hitched, but I tried to slow it, taking deep, uneven breaths as tears blurred my vision. “I’m really going to need your help for this.”
Just as the trembling began to subside, a sudden, deafening slam echoed through the mindscape, shattering the tenuous calm.
“Alright you fuckwit, I’ve got a lo—oooooot…” Zylas’ voice carried its usual sting as she entered, only to stumble into an awkward halt. The door thudded shut behind her, and her paws scratched once against the floor before pausing.
Ainai’s gaze shifted upward to meet Zylas’, her calm, resolute expression an unspoken invitation to tread carefully. I didn’t turn, I couldn’t. Not with my mind still clawing at the edges of that suffocating memory.
“Wait… you’re crying?” Zylas’ voice dropped in volume, a sharp edge of discomfort cutting through her words. A hesitant pause followed, and the rare tail she bothered forming flicked once. A heavy, deliberate motion that brushed faintly against the doorframe. Its weight was unmistakable, even without seeing it, as if she wasn’t quite sure what to do with the appendage now that it was there.
Ainai offered Zylas a faint, knowing smile but said nothing, leaving her to flounder for what to do next.
“Right. Cool. Guess I’ll just… yeah.” Zylas muttered under her breath. She took a few tentative steps closer, her claws scuffing faintly against the floor. “Gods, you’re really crying crying…”
Her tone faltered, caught somewhere between irritation and begrudging concern. The air shifted as she crouched down behind me, the sound of her settling closer drawing my attention. Her presence was overwhelming, her shadow stretching over me like a looming force. I could feel her warmth press against my back as she leaned into it, a sharp contrast to the emotional cold threatening to consume me.
Her tail moved again, slowly this time, brushing against my side before curling instinctively around me. Its sheer size and weight startled me, the thick, furred appendage easily looping over my lap and resting there as though anchoring me in place. It wasn’t tight or smothering, but its presence was undeniable, a silent declaration she refused to acknowledge.
I tensed, half-expecting a sharp remark or her usual denial, but none came. The tail stayed where it was, a loose yet protective weight that radiated warmth.
“Alright, fine. You get this much. Don’t expect me to hold your hand or some shit.” Her gruff voice had softened just enough to betray her discomfort, but there was an undercurrent of sincerity in her presence.
Her back leaned firmly against mine, and though the gesture felt abrupt, the steady press of her body was grounding in a way I hadn’t anticipated.
The silence stretched, but it wasn’t empty. Her tail’s hesitant, almost unconscious curl around me spoke louder than her words. It tightened slightly, not enough to restrain but enough to reaffirm its presence… A barrier and a bridge all at once.
“Seriously, though.” she added after a moment, her voice low, almost teasing. “If you don’t stop crying soon I’m gonna start charge emotional support fees.”
Despite her sharp words, the way her tail adjusted, curling more deliberately now to encircle me, betrayed a softer side I wasn’t sure how to process. She didn’t push for a response, letting her physical presence speak where her words refused to tread.
I felt my breathing slow, my frayed thoughts quieting as I reached out and rested a hand on her tail. It was generously soft, though nowhere near the silkiness of Valia’s fur. A few stray leaves had tangled into the dense fur, and I carefully plucked them out, the simple act anchoring me further.
A low, resonant rumble came from Zylas, vibrating faintly against my back—a sound I’d never heard from her before. The mindscape around us began to shift, a third section forming as if drawn by her presence. Compared to Ainai’s open tranquility or the chaotic disorder of my own, Zylas’ was...
“As stoic as always…” Ainai’s voice hummed through the shared space, her words weaving into the heavier energy Zylas brought with her. The contrast was jarring yet strangely harmonious, Ainai’s warmth embracing Zylas’ presence like a blanket settling over jagged stone.
Zylas adjusted easily to the surreal environment, her vorpal gaze sweeping across the mindscape with blistering precision. She acknowledged the current situation: Queens’ slumbering presence, Ainai’s newly forged Contract, and the weight of the memory we were about to face.
Without hesitation, she placed herself in front of the malignant shrine of my past, standing between it and me like a sentinel.
“Drinking your blood really familiarized me with your thoughts and memories. Made them easier to process. But this…” she growled low, her voice reverberating through the shared space as her gaze fixed on the looming memory. “That’s… not good. Are you, or are we, tackling that next?”
Her attempt at genuine concern was awkward at best, but it was unmistakable. Between Ainai’s steadying warmth and Zylas’ fierce, reluctant support, I felt the faintest spark of resolve.
For the first time in years, I thought I might honestly stand a chance of reliving that day.
hers, this'll be fun. There's a lot to cover, so I hope y'all are strapped in for what comes next... Ainai accepted Queen's Contract, lets hope the weight of it isn't as soul-crushing as these upcoming chapters.
that bad for Daegon? On top of that, Ainai quickly accepted the Contract Queen gave her... If there's a time to let those creative juices flow, and ponder what's to come... Now would be the time.

