The party held onto the unspoken agreement not to discuss the events that had happened with Phoenix and Uriel until their duty as Adventurers was complete for the day. When they had gotten back to the secured encampment in the street, they immediately began helping rebuild the gates and heal the wounded. Now that the rgest threats had been taken care of with the Sapphire commander’s win, they focused on clean up.

  Phoenix was helping everyone as she walked around with her aura projecting clearly to increase their mana and stamina recovery. People overtly gnced towards the glowing woman with ruby curls and mossy eyes in a matching green dress who would stop to cast a heal on any who needed it and keep her portal on constant cooldown to allow the influx of guards, healers, and crafters from Tulimeir to get there.

  She was unaccustomed to strangers overtly whispering and staring at her as she passed, positive her mind wasn’t exaggerating it this time, and her anxiety rose along with her self-consciousness. She felt even more awkward as she rejoined her teammates just as the fort commander was making a point to publicly thank them for their quick assistance and delivery of the supplies they had been running desperately low on since the bandits had begun raiding.

  Dazien did well in protecting his party from the tasks and social interactions they were uncomfortable dealing with. Insuting them from the officials who needed assistance or the civilians trying to thank or get things from them. Directing them to help where they were best suited and at least decently comfortable.

  Uriel had been healed up completely by Saiya and had found a clear space to conjure his [Fortress of Solitude] in order to grab the only set of repcement Silencers he had for exactly this kind of situation where his usual ones were broken.

  Phoenix curiously watched as she noticed him visibly rex at the silencing sensation. She wondered what could have happened in the past to make him feel more uncomfortable without the suffocating device; though, after what she witnessed today, she was beginning to form a theory about what it might have been.

  It was hours ter when they finally finished their original task of delivering supplies to Vallinsarvi, and they still had another stop to make that night. Once another portalist had been reassigned to help move people between the fort and Tulimeir, Phoenix cast her own portal one st time to take them east to Suoja.

  When they arrived at the fortress built into a mountainside, they spent the next few hours unloading and moving the st of their supplies to be delivered in between assisting with taking down monsters that spawned and attacked during the night. Having combat-oriented Casters on hand was usually preferable for the remote cities compared to burning through their supply of mana batteries to utilize the defenses built into the walls.

  As the sun began to rise, Phoenix portaled the exhausted party back to Tulimeir, and they all retreated to her more secure room at the Waynd building for that discussion before retiring for some actual sleep.

  Once they were all sitting more comfortably in the plush seating by the hearth’s fire, Phoenix quickly recounted the events from when she sensed the vile Crystal Caster. She even showed them the messages from her book that dispyed the quests she had received. They remained silent as she spoke, and Uriel was the one to respond first as he said in soft apology, “I thought… I saw your clothes and all the blood… I thought you were dead.”

  “No,” Phoenix assured him, “After talking more with Patricia, I’m fairly certain my body will turn to white ash when I die.”

  “Please, let’s not speak of that,” Dazien said firmly, rubbing his tired eyes in his palms, “I don’t think we want to contempte any of us dying.”

  Before Phoenix could ask what had happened to Uriel, Saiya startled the party by suddenly standing and asking Phoenix to join her for a bit in one of the other rooms to speak briefly. Saiya cimed ‘Healer’s prerogative’ as the others gave her a raised eyebrow and Phoenix silently followed the woman as she was dragged by the animalistic hand to another of the empty guest rooms down the hall.

  The two women sat silently on the bed of the small room for a moment before Phoenix asked, “Was there something you wanted to talk about? You seem… concerned about something in specific.”

  Saiya hesitated for a moment, which seemed wholly unlike the normally peaceful and aloof voxen, and slowly nodded, “Yes. I know I’m not your mind mender. You should probably speak with Priest Jacob about all this next time you meet with him, by the way,” the Tranquil Healer added a bit awkwardly before getting back on track and saying softly, “But I wanted to talk to you more as a friend that has gone through a simir experience.”

  Phoenix’s eyes went wide at the omission as she reassessed her extremely clingy friend, crifying cautiously, “You, um… you were attacked by a handsy monster before?”

  “Rayna mentioned before that our mother and aunt died on an adventuring mission when I was about seven. Around a year ter, my uncle said I reminded him of his lost wife, and he was… lonely. He didn’t get a chance to actually touch me, but that moment has been seared into my memory.”

  “I’m sorry,” Phoenix replied, unsure how she might comfort her friend, though Saiya didn’t seem in need of it, “You were only a child…”

  “Yes, one that trusted him,” Saiya said in the coldest voice she had ever heard from the woman as small fangs briefly showed in a snarl. “It’s because he was distracted with tricking and cornering me that he failed to activate the rituals. The monsters spawning is actually what saved me that night, as the others in the camp started screaming. It gave me the chance to run to Rayna, who ran us both away from the sughter. I don’t bme myself anymore but my uncle’s betrayal fueled by his own weakness and greed destroyed my entire cn.”

  They met each others’ eyes and Saiya’s expression softened, “I know what it feels like to lose a piece of your innocence. Nobody is ever ready for it when it happens. Whether it’s being touched inappropriately, being a victim of violence, a betrayal of trust, or killing another person in defense. Those things are a viotion of one’s wishes and worldview. People will often mourn the fact that they can never gain that innocence back.”

  Phoenix nodded in understanding, “I… I didn’t ever want to kill anyone. In my old world there was usually little reason for anyone to resort to that kind of violence. But I think Rayna and Paul were right, at least in this case. I don’t regret my actions,” she admitted, looking down at her fists as she said firmly, “I saw that man for what he truly was. A monster preying on children. If I could make the choice again, I would do the same thing.”

  She felt Saiya’s hand on her own and she rexed her grip as she met those warm amber eyes with slitted pupils, so animalistic in appearance but human in the emotions they conveyed. “If I had hesitated, those children would have been the ones to suffer and lose that piece of themselves. That innocence that let them trust me to take them to safety. I just realized that I’ve been losing pieces of my innocence for a while now.”

  Phoenix paused, thinking about all that she had been through since even before arriving in this world months ago, “I think I can accept the cost of losing that, if it means keeping others from suffering the same,” she admitted, then gave her friend a soft smile, “That’s what being an Adventurer is all about, after all. Right?”

  Saiya returned her smile and said in a lighter tone, “Well, that and the travel. Plus, the pay is great.” Phoenix ughed and she continued, “It feels good to help others. Being a part of their solution instead of their problems. I believe that helping others avoid the pain we’ve experienced helps lessen the burden of our past.”

  “I think I agree. I’m hoping I can be better about focusing on the good I can do instead of the bad that has happened.”

  “Just remember that we’re here to support you,” Saiya added, “Whether it’s to simply sit and hug, talk through issues, or help accomplish a goal.” She paused for a moment and softly added, “I told you that story about my past not just to help you but to show you that I trust you… and to help myself.”

  Saiya squeezed her hand, “I haven’t told many people about it. I don’t want it to be something that people define me on. Being physically close to people, though, it helps me work past it… it helps reaffirm that the monster of my past doesn’t control me or my future. I want you to know that I have appreciated the fact that you let me hold on to you when I need it. You’ve never pushed me away or even asked me why I do it. I hope that your test monster won’t change that.”

  Phoenix was a bit stunned by the sincerity and vulnerability her friend was showing her –was trusting her with. She felt a bit awkward and slightly unworthy of it, considering her own secrets she had been keeping. However, she smiled and reassured her friend, “It won’t. I think it would bother me more if you stopped being yourself at this point.” She returned the hand squeeze before adding, “Thank you for telling me, Saiya. It means a lot.”

  Her friend leaned over and pced a soft head against her shoulder, the familiar tickle of long ears now a welcome sensation, and they just sat there, taking comfort in each others’ presence.

  “There’s something I want to give you,” Saiya softly said, “It might be a bit silly but I found it to help me during my time of trying to cope with everything.”

  Phoenix smiled, “I promise I won’t ugh. A lot of the kids at the hospital I stayed at had different things that helped them when they were in pain or scared. Security bnkets were quite popur.”

  “I forget sometimes that you’ve already seen so much sadness,” Saiya admitted, reaching into the dimensional satchel at her side that was designed like a messenger bag, “It’s hard to imagine growing up surrounded with fear and loss like you’ve described.”

  Phoenix broke into a wide smile when she saw the plush stuffed animal that her friend pulled from the bag, “This is Sky,” Saiya said with a slight smile and blush, “She was someone I could talk to about everything and not once did she ugh or brush me off.”

  She accepted the proffered plushie and took a closer look at the pale blue fur covering the miniature nine-tailed kitsune fox. Phoenix raised an eyebrow at Saiya and asked, “Sky because it’s blue?”

  Saiya grinned and rolled her eyes, “I was three.”

  She chuckled and gave the incredibly soft fur a few pets before saying sincerely, “Thank you. I used to have a turtle plushie named Donnie that kept me company all the time. I’ll be sure to take good care of her until you ask for her back.” As Saiya opened her mouth, Phoenix held out a hand to halt the oncoming protest, “I can only accept something this precious on loan, okay?”

  Saiya ughed with her and nodded in acquiescence before hugging her and the plushie at the same time, wrapping two soft tails around them in a warm embrace.

  After a few minutes of peaceful silence, Saiya got up but gestured for her to remain seated and expined, “I think Uriel wants to talk privately with you as well. I could clearly feel his guilt and I think everyone saw it. Wait here and I’ll send him in if you’re okay with being alone with him.”

  Phoenix nodded, pcing Sky the Kitsune into her collection for safekeeping, as she agreed, “That’s fine. We’re all still connected by Dazien’s voice chat, so I’ll let you know if there’s a problem but I want to talk with him as well.”

  Saiya acknowledged the logic and began to leave the room before pausing at the door and looking back at her, “I know you keep secrets, Phoenix. I just want you to know that it’s okay and that it doesn’t make you a bad friend because of it. Everyone is entitled to their privacy. Just don’t let those secrets be what pushes you away from the people who care most about you. You don’t have to suffer in silence to be a good friend.”

  With those final words of wisdom, Phoenix was left alone to contempte the point and decide which secrets were keeping her away from truly connecting with her friends. Perhaps she needed to take a leap of faith and trust in what she hoped would happen, instead of what she feared might.