Chapter Seventeen 300

  At the sound of "dinner is ready", I called on everyone to move their stools and come to the living room to sit in a row and eat fruit.

  Baozi had already arranged five cold dishes, and Li Shishi kept bringing hot dishes up. Baozi said: "You guys eat first, I'll wash my hands and come over."

  It wasn't until Baozi sat down that I came back to myself a bit.

  Now let's summarize this meal: the garlic was peeled by Qin Shi Huang, the rice was washed by Jing Ke, the egg was beaten by Han Gaozu, the gas tank was exchanged by Xiang Yu, and the waitress is Li Shishi - if we compare this meal to a movie, then the scene recorder would be Anthony Wong, the art director would be Brad Pitt, the delivery guy would be Marlon Brando, but the producer and director are a bit off, namely Er Huanzi "Dahou" pawnshop manager Xiaoqiang and some wonton shop owner Miss Xiang.

  A few years ago, a news report said that someone spent 360,000 yuan on a meal at a star-rated hotel, causing a sensation throughout society.

  This meal cost me 180 yuan, but if I had to estimate the historical significance, I'd say that single bean sprout that fell on the ground and was stepped on by a baozi is worth more than that.

  Baozi knocked on the table: "Qiangzi, what are you daydreaming about?"

  I just realized that everyone at the table was staring at me. No one had touched their chopsticks, and I curiously asked Qin Shi Huang: "Brother Ying, why aren't you eating?"

  Qin Shi Huang said: "You're also the master of this mouth, so in a formal setting, I should give you some face, right?"

  All the heroes at the table are waiting for me to start, I gave myself a hard slap in the face and woke up, picked up a piece of rape with chopsticks and said: "Eat, eat."

  Liu Bang said in surprise: "You guys still have rules for eating like this?" As he spoke, he also slapped himself one, then picked up a piece of sauce beef and stuffed it into his mouth.

  Qin Shi Huang: "I didn't know I was hungry until now." He slapped himself and then ate.

  Xiang Yu: "It's really cool." He fanned himself and caught a fish.

  Jing Ke: *silence*... He slapped himself and ate a flower of rape.

  Li Shishi smiled: "Is it a national custom?" Rubbed her face and ate shrimp.

  Baozi was taken aback and laughed, saying: "You guys are too much." She directly started eating. Everyone at the table pointed at her in anger, so Baozi could only laugh and pour herself a drink as well. Then she brought out two bottles of Sanliao liquor and one bottle of champagne, handing me the white wine: "Pour drinks for everyone." Li Shishi quickly took it from me, first pouring a full cup for Baozi, laughing: "Sister-in-law has been busy all day, should be the first to toast." Then she held the bottle and looked around at everyone, smiling sweetly: "Everyone present is...". I stared at her anxiously, and she felt it too, glancing at me before looking back at Baozi, pausing for a moment before saying: "...are all outstanding individuals (where did she learn this from?). Let me just pour drinks in the order we met, don't be picky." As she spoke, she first poured a full cup for Jing Er Diao: "Brother Jing has always been my number one hero in my heart." Then she smiled at Ying Pangzi: "Still the same phrase, Brother Ying looks down on the world, also a hero." To Xiang Yu: "With strength to uproot mountains and an aura that covers the world, Brother Xiang's talent and emotions are stunning. Wishing you an early reunion with Yu Jie, a perfect match made in heaven."

  Baozi was stunned: "Xiao Nan, aren't you a model?" She also foolishly asked Xiang Yu: "What's your girlfriend's surname, Yu?" Li Shishi smiled at her and turned to Liu Bang, whose nose wasn't a nose and eyes weren't eyes: "As for Brother Liu, haha, his ability to use people is unmatched in ancient or modern times." Liu Bang savored the taste, nodding his head.

  Li Shishi turned to me, her eyes flowing with mischief and teasing. I raised my cup in front of her: "No need to say anything else, cousin, it's fate." This wicked woman was dancing on the blade, playing a thrilling game with me, if Baozi were in school, she would definitely skip class without fail.

  Li Shishi poured a cup for me and one for herself. Baozi said, "I didn't expect my cousin to be able to drink baijiu too, that bottle of colored liquor I bought was wasted."

  "Ladies and gentlemen, it's fate that brings us together. We'll spend some time in this place, and then we'll go our separate ways (I'd love to add 'never to meet again'). Who knows, maybe someday we'll meet again, still as friends."

  Baozi forced a smile and said: "Qiangzi is really getting more and more outrageous..." She could hear that my words were a bit muddled, and was helping me to gloss over it.

  Everyone present except her didn't mind, I was telling the truth anyway.

  Baozi said: "The first cup of wine, let's go one by one, Xiaonan you can slow down." He drank it all in one gulp.

  Why is Baozi so ugly, yet I still can't leave her? Usually, the face she loses at the dinner table can all be recovered by me. In the past, as soon as Baozi had a drink, which friend wouldn't point fingers... anyway, today there wasn't a single one...

  Jing Ke and Xiang Yu probably never saw anyone drink from such a small cup and still be so capable. The two of them drained their cups at the same time, then looked towards the wine bottle. That idiot was probably a proletarian hooligan in his past life, his brain must have been ruined by drinking. On the night Xiang Yu was surrounded, he drank all night and still managed to fight his way to the riverbank. It's likely that he was the legendary "two jin capacity".

  Qin Shi Huang and Liu Bang were not used to someone making a toast and drinking first, Li Shishi finished a cup, frowned, but didn't say anything.

  Baozi picked up the wine bottle and smiled: "It seems everyone can have a drink?"

  Under the influence of the wine, the three rounds were finished in less than 10 minutes. Qin Shi Huang, who had never drunk such high-purity liquor before, was clearly a bit tipsy. He put his arm around Jing Ke's shoulder and said: "That guy was wrong back then, you shouldn't have treated me like that either..." I hastily took over the conversation: "Let's not mention unpleasant things."

  Baozi asked me what was going on, I mumbled: "These two used to be in a band together and had a falling out."

  Li Shishi whispered to Xiang Yu, she admired Yu Ji very much, after drinking a little wine, her thinking was obviously short-circuited, and asked Xiang Yu for Yu Ji's photo.

  Among the crowd, the one who is most similar to me in nature is actually Liu Bang. After drinking, Liu Bang, who came from a humble background, was a very good person. He put his arm around me and boasted about how he used to be, using an elder brother's tone. After another two drinks, he would definitely say: "In the future, if you have any trouble, come find me, Liu Ge. I may not be able to do anything else, but calling a few tens of thousands of brothers to fight is still possible..." Just like my usual behavior!

  At this time, I heard someone calling me from downstairs. I leaned against the windowsill and took a look, only to see Liu Lao Liu looking up at me with his head raised, with a taxi parked beside him, and another person standing next to him!

  I lit a cigarette, relying on the wine's boldness to charge downstairs with a fierce look. As soon as I went out the door, I looked at the person next to Liu Lao Liu, a thin and small middle-aged man with very white skin, surprisingly wearing a golden apple suit. I thought for a moment about which historical figure was so weak and pale, and I grabbed him, saying: "Chen Houzhu? Han Xian Di? Your ancestors are drinking upstairs in my building."

  The thin man pulled my hand away, jumping aside in fright. I chuckled and said, "No wonder you can't keep the kingdom safe."

  "He's a taxi driver - I didn't bring any money."

  ……

  I gave the driver an extra 10 yuan and felt a bit better, but I still looked around nervously to make sure no one was watching.

  Liu Lao Liu said: "Don't worry, I won't bring people here one by one from now on."

  I hastily pulled out a cigarette and handed it to Liu Laosix, saying with a clear mind: "You also have a good conscience sometimes." Liu Laosix lit the fire, puffing on the cigarette and said: "Recently, the underworld has been in an uproar, with the 300 Yue Family Army and the 54 heroes of Liangshan being the most fierce. For now, no one dares to compete with them for a spot, so those heroes can only wait for the next batch."

  I took a deep breath and forgot to exhale, inhaling half of the cigarette smoke. I spoke in a very calm voice: "What do you mean?"

  "No way, haven't you heard 'Moving a mountain is easy, but moving the Yue family's army is hard'? These 300 people were Yue Fei's special forces and suicide squad, charging straight into the Jin army of 500,000, almost beheading them successfully. Although not one of them survived, they made the old Jin king flee in shame, with Yue Fei chasing after him for over 200 miles, killing him. These people are a batch that has arrived at the underworld, now clamoring to return together. After much effort, I managed to arrange for them to come to you."

  I said very calmly: "Are you deceiving them?"

  "Of course not, but you still have a month to prepare, and the procedures will be almost done. It's also possible that the Yue Family Army and the Liangshan heroes will come together. Didn't I say it before? I won't bring people here one by one again."

  "You can't even film '300' here, let alone the Great Heroes of the Water Margin. How could I afford it? When they come, don't mention eating, how about sleeping? Do you want me to sleep standing up on shift? Just those 5 upstairs are already too much for me to support, today alone I spent over 2000, and there's only 70+ yuan left in my card. That ATM only spits out 100-yuan bills, what am I supposed to do with this 70 yuan (friendly reminder: you can top up your phone bill)?"

  I finished my rant, grabbed Liu Lao Liu, and said emotionally, "You immortals are also born of mortal parents, how can you do things like this? When Bai Qi buried alive 400,000 Zhao soldiers, those 400,000 people were all finished off together. What would happen if they rioted against you? Our whole city only has 10 million people..."

  The old man puffed on his cigarette, enjoying himself for half a day before saying: "We won't be so excessive, but the agreement with the Yue Family Army and the Liangshan brothers is already set in stone, can't be changed. As for the specifics, you'll have to figure it out yourself... regarding the money..."

  I immediately clasped my hands together in front of my chest, with sparkling stars filling my eyes.

  "Well... you're on your own then."

  I hung my head in shame, and Liu Laosix laughed loudly: "All the bricks nearby have been moved away by me."