Chapter 14 Accompanying You to See the Terracotta Warriors

  I sighed and said: "This sentence is right, Brother Win. With money, you are a god wherever you go. If you can understand this sentence, then your stay with me has not been in vain."

  "I'm still hungry, but I found that your arrogance is far inferior to mine. When I was young and went out to have fun, I had over 2,000 yuan in my pocket. Take a look at yourself."

  I gloomily poured in half a bottle of water, speechless for half a day. Wining Pao comforted me: "However, hungry still likes this mouth, let hungry recover and don't think about it anymore."

  This remark made our mayor realize that Qin Shi Huang, the First Emperor of China, who was born in ancient society and crossed over to modern times, would rather change his appearance and become an ordinary citizen under his rule. What a great achievement this is!

  At this time, Baozi and the others came out. Xiang Yu wore a small red hat on his head and a Che Guevara T-shirt, while Liu Bang wore a yellow shirt with yellow pants (it seems he is still sensitive to the color yellow). Baozi asked me from afar: "Where's our cousin?"

  "I'm here." Li Shishi came out of the bookstore with several books in her hand, while Jing Er was behind her settling accounts with the boss.

  I nervously took over the books from Li Shishi, the top one was "Home Appliance Repair", I broke a sweat, the second one was "600 Movies You Must See in Your Lifetime", I sweated again, and the last one was unexpectedly "Liang Sicheng's History of Chinese Architecture", I was drenched in sweat. I originally thought she would choose books like "A Brief History of China", that bookstore I've also been to, I remember there was even a book called "Famous Courtesan Li Shishi of the Song Dynasty", unexpectedly this girl was completely unpredictable, the three books she chose comprehensively introduced modern civilization from multiple angles, it seems she's really a difficult woman to deal with.

  Jing Ke excitedly ran over with a stack of tickets, Li Shishi bought all pirated books, adding up to only 24 (heh heh, one book for 8 yuan, friends who have bought pirated books will understand) yuan. She looked at the price tag and it was probably calculated from the cover of the book. If she had known it was so cheap, she would definitely have bought more.

  I asked each of the people who had just come out to buy a bottle of Coke, and let Jing Ke count the money. The rest were all given to him. I have to consciously cultivate these people's basic survival skills, or this year will be too painful for me to live.

  "Baozi pulled Li Shishi's hand and said: 'We're going to pick out a few undergarments, you bring them a few more sets of replacement clothes, oh and toothbrushes, slippers and stuff. We'll be in touch by phone...'"

  I grabbed the baozi and said with a sob: "You can't leave me alone!" The baozi looked at the strange gaze of passersby with embarrassment, trying to pry my hand loose. I didn't care, it's better to find four African jungle black women who have given birth to countless children to exhaust me to death than to take these four people on a crowded street like Futa Road. Especially since Qin Shi Huang had tasted the sweetness, his hands were particularly smooth, seeing what he wanted to eat and I had to run over to pay for it.

  Baozi muttered, "Then what do you say, shall we go together?" I nodded vigorously. Li Shishi chuckled and said, "Brother-in-law and sister-in-law have such a good relationship, can't bear to be apart for a moment." I glared at her, just then Qin Shi Huang swiped another banana from the fruit stand...

  We each held a banana and swaggered into a women's lingerie store, where rows of plastic busts stood before us, with two more on the side that were completely bare. I squatted down against the wall, burying my head in my crotch. If it had just been me and Baozi, I could have confidently accompanied her, even offering my own opinions - after all, women's lingerie isn't just for themselves to wear.

  But now I'm leading a group of men, following two women, and no matter how you look at it, it's weird. This is easily misunderstood.

  I sometimes really admire Liu Bang, this guy is following two girls from behind with his hands behind his back, occasionally taking a peek at the material of their underwear. Several times, his nose was almost buried and couldn't be seen, I don't believe he doesn't know that doing so is very shameful. Xiang Yu was obviously thinking about something else, when he walked into a turbulent wave, he realized it wasn't right, standing there looking around, with such a tall stature, even people outside the store could see him. Jing Ke is a good person, but he's standing in the wrong place, the whole store only has two naked chest models, and he's standing right in front of them to find a semiconductor signal, with a silly smile on his face, just like those perverts online.

  Winnie sat next to me, puzzled and said: "Hungry, how come you look so familiar?" Suddenly, a very indecent scene flashed in my mind, I chuckled and said: "Were you watching a group of beauties performing striptease at that time?" Winnie shook his head: "I was looking at the ones wearing clothes." I suddenly realized: "Or did you think of your Terracotta Warriors?"

  Qin Shi Huang slapped his thigh: "You're really clever. How do you know everything?"

  I suddenly broke out in a cold sweat, and I thought of an earth-shattering thing: where is the mausoleum of Qin Shi Huang after all? It's still a mystery till now. Although the most widely accepted statement is that it's located at Mount Li, but no remains of Qin Shi Huang himself have been found there. Moreover, it has been verified that this tomb was never robbed, which means that Mount Li Tomb might just be a fake tomb built by Qin Shi Huang to deceive people. So where is the real one? Nobody knew in the past, now at least one person knows: Qin Shi Huang!

  I stuttered and asked: "Wing-ge, after you died, did you know where they buried you?"

  "Are you stupid? How can you know if you're starving to death?"

  I wiped away sweat (and still had to buy a bottle of water later), and said with a sigh of relief: "It's better that I don't know, it saves me from worrying..."

  "But before starving to death, tell them to bury Hunger far, far away. In that place, Hunger will only have passed by once."

  "Qí Shān..."

  Qin Shi Huang heard the two words "Rui Mountain" and sneered: "That's fake."

  I wiped away endless sweat and asked cautiously: "Can you still find that place now?"

  The fatty rubbed his mouth and said: "Not good."

  The tomb of the Qin King in Mount Li is actually fake! I wanted to ask, Baozi was holding a bra on that side and shouting at me: "Qiangzi, how's this one?" I buried my head again. Liu Bang supported his chin and said: "I like the black one." Baozi glared at me, then smiled and said to Liu Bang: "Should I buy you one?"

  Xiang Yu stood amidst the pile of bras, dazed for a moment, then quickly walked up to me and said: "Xiao Qiang (ah, finally someone calls me that), what's the fastest speed that thing we rode here can go?"

  It seems that Xiang Yu is indeed a sentimental hero, now he just wants to go back and find Yu Ji, he probably still doesn't understand what I told him about not being able to return in terms of time rather than distance. Li Shishi wouldn't make this kind of mistake.

  But I can only answer him first and say: "That's called a van, the fastest is 80 miles, if it's a good car, it can be 2 to 3 times faster."

  Xiang Yu stared blankly: "80 miles?"

  "Well, let me put it this way, the best horse can run over 60 miles, and that one you rode back then could probably run up to 70, but this thing we're sitting on can run 80, and it can keep running day and night."

  Xiang Yu's eyes were filled with excitement: "Does that thing need to be run well to play with?"

  "Uh... I'm going to take a driving test - I don't know anyone at the DMV."

  "What does it mean?"

  "It's really hard to deal with and that thing isn't even mine, I still can't afford it for now."

  Xiang Yu smiled complacently: "Money is no problem..."

  "The problem is that I don't have the money, brother. To be honest with you, what I earn is equivalent to what one of your foot soldiers used to make back in the day. Think about it, how many years would a foot soldier need to save up to buy that black horse of yours?"

  Xiang Yu furrowed his brow and said, "The fine armor I wore was cast from real gold. The cost of having someone make it was 3,000 taels of gold. If you sell it, can you buy a van with that?"

  I just roughly calculated it and didn't get an answer, so I said "You can buy countless BMWs."

  "I don't want a BMW, I just want a van."

  Great!

  Xiang Yu continued: "You will go back and sell it immediately."

  I suddenly remembered Old Pan's words, a dagger that could send me to prison for life would be just as good as the armor Xiang Yu wore. I said to Xiang Yu: "Brother, let me explain this slowly to you, if you like driving, I can teach you, but going back to find your wife is not that simple."